Men(y) issues!
"10 Years! We were going out for 10 years"- she said in between her sobs.
And now it's all over.
And this was it.
I got a call last evening from an unknown number. On answering, I was greeted by my school friend whom i haven't seen in years. She was telling me about her life with her boyfriend, another classmate of mine whom she had been going around with for 10 years. They decided to get engaged and soon to get married, but didn't work out. They broke it off.
10 years- is a long time.
So why is it that for those 10 years, they were meant for each other and all of a sudden kapoot! all gone.
We spend our whole life, living and looking for that someone. In school, it's just that you have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. How do we know that that guy/girl is meant for u. Is it because they have taken the same subjects, like to still listen to roxette, or just because he was prom king and she was was prom queen?
It's weird. It's the 3rd time this week, 3 of my friends have had relationship issues with their guys.
All of them surprisingly had the same problem- "He's changed" they said.
So is it always the guys who "change"?? and change how? Hey, i'm not looking down upon women-but it's not that they are right all the time. I am a woman, and sometimes you just need to think from the guys point of view. Don't raise your eyebrows..you really do.
So guess how those guys have changed- these are the few comments i got from my girlfriends:
- He doesn't call me as often as he would. ( which is like,he has reduced his calls from 100 times a day to 98 times a day)
- He doesn't say,"I love you" with the same feel like he would before! (wha..???? tell me if that makes sense to you)
-His work is now more important to him than me! (Guess what? He has to feed you now and is getting no allowance from his folks anymore!)
-He doesn't bring me flowers everyday anymore-only once a week now (Oh come on!)
I do understand if he's not talking to you straight or shows tendencies of getting bored or maybe just the possibility of having an affair with someone else, but all this... Nahhhh.. not a convincing excuse to break off with someone. Oh and mind you all these guys are trying to get back.
I might be wrong but this is my opinion. Things are not hunky dory all the time.
I am in a relationship for a year now and yes my boyfriend has changed in this one year too. In the beginning all that was annoying me too. But then, I had a chat with him. I really did, not like a girlfriend, like a friend and this is what i have concluded.
Just because he is busy with his work, doesn't call that often and doesn't bring you flowers everyday does not mean that he doesn't love you.
Sometimes, we just need a reality check. It's not the quantity, it's the quality of time you spend with each other.
Guys start having different priorities in life. They then realise that they have to start supporting families and if they are planning to get married, it's not about about taking your girl out for dinner in a fancy restaurant, dropping her home after a heavy make-out session and see you tomorrow types. They need time to get used to these facts and therefore the so-called changes.Work occupies them, they need a life too- sometimes even a break. Just because they have girlfriends that does not mean that they have to hang around with them even for the 5 mins they have to themselves.
Give them space and you get the respect, love and time you want. They themselves will give it you.
Hey, I'm not here to generalise, but I also agree that sometimes, we girls just let our imaginations run wild and jump to conclusions. Sometimes, we ourselves make things complicated for us in our relationships. I did that. I learnt and I worked on it. Things are much simpler for me now.
Well, what can I say..just twisting an old saying if I may..Men! CAN live with them...can't live without them!
And now it's all over.
And this was it.
I got a call last evening from an unknown number. On answering, I was greeted by my school friend whom i haven't seen in years. She was telling me about her life with her boyfriend, another classmate of mine whom she had been going around with for 10 years. They decided to get engaged and soon to get married, but didn't work out. They broke it off.
10 years- is a long time.
So why is it that for those 10 years, they were meant for each other and all of a sudden kapoot! all gone.
We spend our whole life, living and looking for that someone. In school, it's just that you have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. How do we know that that guy/girl is meant for u. Is it because they have taken the same subjects, like to still listen to roxette, or just because he was prom king and she was was prom queen?
It's weird. It's the 3rd time this week, 3 of my friends have had relationship issues with their guys.
All of them surprisingly had the same problem- "He's changed" they said.
So is it always the guys who "change"?? and change how? Hey, i'm not looking down upon women-but it's not that they are right all the time. I am a woman, and sometimes you just need to think from the guys point of view. Don't raise your eyebrows..you really do.
So guess how those guys have changed- these are the few comments i got from my girlfriends:
- He doesn't call me as often as he would. ( which is like,he has reduced his calls from 100 times a day to 98 times a day)
- He doesn't say,"I love you" with the same feel like he would before! (wha..???? tell me if that makes sense to you)
-His work is now more important to him than me! (Guess what? He has to feed you now and is getting no allowance from his folks anymore!)
-He doesn't bring me flowers everyday anymore-only once a week now (Oh come on!)
I do understand if he's not talking to you straight or shows tendencies of getting bored or maybe just the possibility of having an affair with someone else, but all this... Nahhhh.. not a convincing excuse to break off with someone. Oh and mind you all these guys are trying to get back.
I might be wrong but this is my opinion. Things are not hunky dory all the time.
I am in a relationship for a year now and yes my boyfriend has changed in this one year too. In the beginning all that was annoying me too. But then, I had a chat with him. I really did, not like a girlfriend, like a friend and this is what i have concluded.
Just because he is busy with his work, doesn't call that often and doesn't bring you flowers everyday does not mean that he doesn't love you.
Sometimes, we just need a reality check. It's not the quantity, it's the quality of time you spend with each other.
Guys start having different priorities in life. They then realise that they have to start supporting families and if they are planning to get married, it's not about about taking your girl out for dinner in a fancy restaurant, dropping her home after a heavy make-out session and see you tomorrow types. They need time to get used to these facts and therefore the so-called changes.Work occupies them, they need a life too- sometimes even a break. Just because they have girlfriends that does not mean that they have to hang around with them even for the 5 mins they have to themselves.
Give them space and you get the respect, love and time you want. They themselves will give it you.
Hey, I'm not here to generalise, but I also agree that sometimes, we girls just let our imaginations run wild and jump to conclusions. Sometimes, we ourselves make things complicated for us in our relationships. I did that. I learnt and I worked on it. Things are much simpler for me now.
Well, what can I say..just twisting an old saying if I may..Men! CAN live with them...can't live without them!
posted by || sbk || at
3:28 AM
3 Comments:
Good analysis! But if the reasons for break up that you specified are 'the reasons' then I think their realtionship has not matured at all in those 10 years that they spent with each other. One should remember that falling in love and getting married is not all but maintaining that realtionship is the biggest challenge. Its just like buying a BMW, its easy to buy but very tough to keep it in shape....you really have to work towards it :)
You said it pseudofreud! Just hope my girlfriends read this:)Cheers!
Can I clone you pls?
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