Zip it!

So i get really excited and blurt things out. Not like anyone else's secrets but my own. I so hate it !

THen after I do it, I want to kill myself! Especially when it's people when I don't really fancy. Don't ask me why I can't control it..I try so hard !

So now.. Im just gonna try and curb the excitement. Ish...

Manners please...

There are public interest ads teaching citizens of India to cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough!

Wow. I have no words.

I miss..

- spending time with my family without worrying about my in laws
- partying randomly with friends at boston bar.
- a college life
-my car.
-being thin & being able to wear anything.
-my friends.
- being able to live a disciplined life.
- not having to deal with stupid people.
- my job
.....
...sigh!...i miss being single !

Not white noise...just NOISE!

R woke up to the tv blaring everyday. Made her wonder whether the people viewing it were partly deaf or just deaf. The noise stayed on the whole day.

The tv was like the other person in the house except it had commercials. Only when it was late in the night,the noise died out and came back alive early in the morning.

Wonder if the people living in the house were like Elvis Presley, who liked to keep the telly on as he found it hard to be alone.Scared to be alone, he wanted to feel like there were people around him all the time, even when he went to sleep.

Things were getting harder and harder for R. She wanted to burst open and switch off all the tvs..maybe even break one, to let her frustration out.

R was already surrounded by people and didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, be with anyone. She wanted to change her profession from a shrink to a sanyasi (a person who leaves all his material things behind to go to the mountains to meditate).

R wanted out. Badly. Untill then she will have to just do with some earplugs.

tired.

Don't know why I get exhausted so often nowadays, but somehow I actually shirk from a simple daily chore such as paying my phone bill.

Ish...something tells me this ain't good !

livid.

It's amazing how one person can affect your life so badly. Call it a cowardly act, but there were times when R felt completely helpless. She couldn't do or say anything to this.

There was this person, who seemed to have an empowering affect on her, like she felt all cold with this human. R never felt so weak in her life. She didn't know what it was but always tried to figure what it was. She tried to befriend her, tried so hard and never knew why she was doing this in the first place, R never like her anyway. She couldn't care any less of her. R secretly wished that she disappeared or thoughts that awakened the evil within her.

This person was stubborn, selfish,sick, dominating, evil and conceited. Then why? Why did R try so hard that this person like her. What was she to her. Nothing. But they shared the same space almost like her own shadow.Is that why? The need to please. The feeling of someone hating you so much and not caring about it at all was killing R. She wanted to do anything to please her, for her to be liked, at the same time of not caring much about her, still having nasty thoughts about her. How was this possible?

Is it possible to feel two different feelings about one person at the same time? "How did it work?", R pondered, "How did it?".

its working ...

this time ive been very strict about this ..I've been on a diet & doing yoga and looks like I may finally be getting some results ...Yippppeee!

Also,i'm trying to get around to finish my articles and just cant get to it ..Should be able to do so by this week..hopefully.