Cut the Crap!

What do you do when you go for a haircut and you ask for a "Bob" cut and the hairdresser hears "BOY!" CUT????!!!

Well that's exactly what happened to me in 8th grade.
8th grade! Sigh! The start of adolescence and I had to look like a boy in the most crucial years of my school life.

So since then I have this phobia of hairdressers
The minute that cloak goes on me, I feel like I'm on a gilotine.
I become a nervous wreck and start shivering and sweating at the thought of chopping my locks

Then came the phase where my hair grew to it's normal length again (Phew) and then started the trend of blowdrying my hair. Everything seemed fine as long as I was in Dubai, then I went to B'bay. I needed a salon desperately so since I didn't know the place so well, I went exploring my cousin's neighbourhood and I came across a decent looking salon. I went in there greeted by friendly faces and with L'oreal and Wella posters stuck on the walls, my faith in the standard of the salon sorta rose.
I went up to the counter and very calmly said.."Umm blowdry please."
and instead of showing me my seat on where the exercise would begin, she asked," You're not from India na...?"
(Now the word or rather the sound "na" in India is more like one of those things you say at the end of the sentence if you want the person you're questioning to agree with you, like...you don't have a choice, i'm just questioning you out of courtesy but in reality I know the answer types! )

Was used to that question, so just nodded my head and asked " So, will I get a blowdry now?".
The woman at the counter didn't really react..all she did was...scream "Arre Shilpa.....ek blowdry lena!"
Hmm...Shilpa came trudging along and showed me the Hot seat. ..and there SHWISH came the cloak (God I hate them)..
"Kya Chahiye?!" (what do u want?) Shilpa asked.
"Umm..Blowdry" I replied expecting her to know by now.

Then she looks at my hair and says..."You've got curly hair, if I blowdry your hair then,they'll turn curly by tomorrow. Why don't you iron your hair, that way it'll be crisp straight and it will last for 3 days without turning curly.?"

Now ironing your hair is very normal with that iron rod which gives you the silky soft smooth effect which the kind people at Braun invented.
But this lady.. surely had her facts all wrong. She took out a napkin which I didnt understand why she did that and then an Iron!!! A normal Iron, an iron with which you get your creases off your clothes,an iron which now comes with that slot which will not harm your buttons while pressing your shirt, an iron which has the cold water and hot water to be sprinkled on your clothes option. An iron IRON....A REAL IRON!!!!
I jumped in my seat when I saw that.. and she's like " No No... this is very normal..it's done like this for everyone."
I still wasn't too convinced and the lady next to me who was getting her eyebrows done intervened and said, "It's okay, I get it done every week. It's very safe and there's no pain involved"- (Duh, i know woman..I mean really obviously I didn't expect her to place my head on the ironing board and start off)

Anyways, after an hour, I quite liked the result. It was crisp straight!Like, I could model for one of those shampoos which actually promise your hair to look like that but guess what.. they ARE LIARS!

So...people! I enjoyed my model like hair for 2 days and was pretending to blush at every compliment which came across my way..like you know those feelings when you finally feel that something suits you and then someone says.."Hey, your hair looks great..what did u do?" and you're just like,"aaww..your so kind..its just a blowdry..thanku!" But actually your dying to scream from within,"I KNOW!!! ISN'T IT AWESOME!!I LOVE IT!I JUST LOVE IT!!!!"
hmm...well yea, that's what I was going through..but then......
2 days later when I washed my hair, I felt as if someone was burning a tyre, the smell was eeew! I thought it was coming from outside the window but then again, how could it be possible for someone to burn a tyre and the smell to travel up 16 floors!
The stench was too strong and now I was coughing..with the eyes burning because they were now filled with shampoo, I quickly washed myself and the smell wouldn't go...No! It was not me!! It was MY HAIR!!!!
That Idiot Shilpa Burnt My Hair!!!!
I came out crying,(yea I cried!!!its my hair!!it was burnt,I looked like Tom in Tom-n-Jerry after Jerry placed a dynamite on his head!!!!- ok..im exaggerating....BUT IT WAS BURNT!)

Unfortunately, I was flying back the same night,so I didn't have enough time to plan Shilpa's murder and the bombing of that salon,so I came back to Dubai.
You know what's worse..you know that your hair is burnt and you're already feeling miserable about it but then you have your hairdressers squeal.."Eeeeeee! What Did You Do To Your Hair!!!Finished! It's Burnt! Bas! Nothing Can Be Done! Gone..Gone...It's Gone!!!!!"
And your like quivering your lips and giving the doe eyed look..like please please do something, there must be some way!!!!
So, She's like.."Hmm...Maybe we can cut it again!"
"AGAIN??!!!!!"-Oh My God....the cloak..oh my God!

So people,I had my haircut,It isn't so bad..I mean I still manage to look like one of the female species...But,it'll take a while for my hair to look normal again..

Though, I still believe that revenge is sweet (Hey,I'm a Scorpio,what do You expect!) and am waiting to go back to Bombay to kill that Holy Mother Of Blowdry!

Any ideas?